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Husband/Father/Son
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Discussion Starter #1
So as I sit here in my office watching the walls close in, pissed off that the deal I had been working on for 10 (TEN) months has fallen through. Watching my bank account drain from where it should be, to where it should have never gone. The backyard and garage are empty, having sold off 95% of the toys to fund the new business and pay the bills while waiting for the deal to close I feel that there is not much left for me to do. I've been scanning the classifieds, made some calls within my old network of business clients, things are just dead all over. I've provided as much as I can for my family to date, but feel that with the loss of this deal I am now a failure. With little to no real income now coming in, the seasonal depression is most definitely upon me. So, with that said and out of the way, anyone have some really good, inexpensive ideas for fighting this funk I'm in????


Bill S.
 

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Land Shark!
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4,668 Posts
Go back to doing what you are good at, and what got you to where you were before you started persuing the new opportunity...
 

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FFCobra Fanatic
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3,120 Posts
Bill,
Find a very comfortable enviroment i.e (warm kitchen table near a window)...a cup of coffee ...book by Dr. Dyer "Power of intention"...be open minded.....it well come.
 

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Senior Member
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3,760 Posts
Bill, I am so sorry to hear the deal fell through. Is there any hope of resurrecting it? Maybe you could network into other guys in the same business, work another deal?

If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. Not sure what that might be, since I'm "on the beach" at the moment myself.

I've owned my own company now for many years, as you know, and I've often said that most often, when something bad happens to my business, it opens another door that turns out to be even better. That's not me being Pollyanna, its true. There are opportunities out there, and one of them has your name on it.

Hang in there bud. The toys can be replaced eventually. You have a great family and a beautiful home, you are blessed.

I'll send some more coffee over!! :D

AJ
 

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2,158 Posts
Bill,
I'm really sorry to hear about the deal falling through. You are certainly not a failure. Times are tough. I know you do everything in your power to provide for your family. I'm certainly keeping my eyes out for you in my field, but I haven't seen much.
How to get out of your funk? Spend time with your family over the holidays. I know how much of a family person you are. It may be simplistic, and having only been a father for less than one year I'm not the most experienced guy, but when things look bleak for me, I look at it that way. I spend time with them and realize how lucky I am to have them, have relatively good health and enjoy a good life. I never forget that there are countless people who would do anything to have what I and my family have.
So I'd say plan a family outing. Even if it's a daytrip. Look around and realize the glass is still half full. Sorry if it's over simplified, but that's the way I see it.

Steve
 

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1,037 Posts
Exercise. It will strengthen your body and mind. Also makes you strong to take on the next challenge. Remember, successful people don't fail, they have setbacks. That's all you had. don't dwell on it, move on.

Another thing, try to help someone else having a problem. That will make you feel better also.
This IS the dead time for everything, but just think in a couple of weeks it is a new year with everyone having new budgets and such.
Hang in there!!
Michael D.
 

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Bill,

Just try to remember it’s the end of the year. Like you I have been “chasing” opportunities over the past few months. I’ve had three promising job interviews which none have panned out. Why, I ask myself? My wife calmly explains to me that it’s the end of the year and nobody is in decision making mode until the first of January.

I also am exploring a franchise business opportunity. I have sent this company numerous messages, called them and still have not received an information packet!!! I can’t believe it. I’m willing and able to invest over $200K in this business and they won’t send out an info packet!!!

I always see in your signature you line “family first” you should feel so fortunate. Over the past 18 months my wife and I have been doing invetro-fertilization, unsuccessfully. We have done two “fresh” cycles and one frozen. (Eggs fertilized outside her body then transferred in). The costs are mind numbing. The last time I ordered the drugs from the compounding company they told me the price of one drug (GonalF) was $1400 and you get 2.5 injections out of one vial guess how many injections she needed 12, I still have that ½ dose in my refrigerator, I can’t stand to throw it out although I know it’s gone bad.

So we will be sharing this Christmas with out children again (I’m 35 she’s 33), sobering thought for those with kids.

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t give up hope. The economy is getting stronger each day and new opportunities will arise before you in the coming year, just as they will me. Look to your family and close friends for support and of course your extended family here on the FFRcobra board.

I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Have a wonderful holiday season.

David
 

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Senior Member
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3,760 Posts
Originally posted by dsommer:

My wife calmly explains to me that it’s the end of the year and nobody is in decision making mode until the first of January.
Absolutely true. I am looking too, but only half-heartedly until the 3rd of January. Nobody hires in the second half of December -- why would they? Not only does NOTHING get done this time of year, it also means that over the next two weeks, they'd be paying their new hire for at least 2.5 days of holiday!!

AJ
 

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Professional Internet Browser
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9,945 Posts
Best thing I do in the winter is ski...I am sure you have been skiing as an northern east coaster, find a little local ski place, they are super cheap, and go there for a night and have some fun.
 

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Moderator
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4,703 Posts
Bill, I can understand your situation. My work will often slow down in the winter.
When I slow down, it's time to start exercising. It will make you feel better. You need to give a couple of weeks before you start to feel good about it.
Also look at this time as an chance to spend time with your family.
Do you think a man laying on his death bed would say?......"I should have worked more", or would think about the time he's spent with family?
Do something to make yourself feel better.
(Exercise, even walking in the morning, do a good deed for someone). Once you feel better about yourself, things will fall into place.
I wish you a great New year. Your forum friend, Bill K.
 

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Senior Charter Member
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3,848 Posts
When I'm feeling down I always drive:) Is your family healthy? If so, your setback is no big deal right? I'd be in your funk if a ten month deal fell through also! Draw on family and friends bud. Don't be depressed during one of the best times of the year. Be like Happy Gilmore and find your happy place. Hell.....from reading other posts you've made, I'd love to have had a coupla cars you've had. Do not sit and think of what might have been, sit back and think of what you have:)
 

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Cobra Colorist
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5,632 Posts
Bill, For three years the picture I have drawn of you in my head is that of a fighter, take no guff, hands down thats the way it is, kind of guy. I don't know you, but thats the pic I've got.Maybe take a deep breath, relax for a moment, then go kick some butt and make something happen. I believe you have it in you pal...Jeff
 

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Husband/Father/Son
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12,461 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
Ted,

I wish I could but I am so far out of the loop, and there are far too many people with greater connections than mine, that there is no way to get back into the "buying and selling" end of things.

charles,

Thanks, I'll head up to the local Borders to see about finding the book.

AJ,

More coffee, I think at this point I need to cut back on the amount of coffee I've been digesting.

Steve,

I have a friend at State Farm who is doing investigative and claim work, he states that it does not pay very well these days.

Michael D,

I've been out walking in the sun on and off for months......

AL,
I see your ".", and raise you a ":" .

David,

It's no secret, I've owned franchises before, and was in the process of purchasing the local MAACO franchise. Ten months of hard work down the tubes, all while not having much of an income to support my family. If not purchasing an existing location here in northern, NJ, trying to find a new "approved" location has been almost a year on top of this...........

Aaron,

First we have to have real snow, then I can consider a day or two of skiing. I can take my son along, but my wife hurt her knees a few years ago, and can no longer ski.

Knight,

I've been working out of the house for three years now, I spend plenty of time with my family. Sometimes much more than my 13 year old can take.

kobrak,

The depression is here for a while. It takes me a very long time before I get frustrated and depressed, the past two days are what pushed me over the edge. Not much more I can say.

j.miller,

I sometimes feel the way you describe, but in reality, at least today, I am feeling far more introverted than extroverted.....

Thanks again for your wisdom..........


Bill S.
 

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mrmustang,

Been there done that, still dealing with the fallout. Failure is only a matter of perception. You think you failed because something did not work out the way it should have in your mind, and it cost you.

It is all about maintaining perspective. When I start thinking too much about bad things that have happened to me I turn it around.

At this point I would have to say that you are an incredibly lucky man, and I don't even know you or even much about you.

You live in the USA. Could be worse, you were not born the son of an Ethiopian share cropper. I'll bet money you and your family will sleep indoors tonight.

The year is 2004, not 1917 and you are not being drafted to fight WWI and aren't you glad that a gas mask is not part of your wardrobe?

AND you do not run about in public in a black rubber suit.

My point is that no matter how bad it looks, someone else can look at you, with full appreciation of how lucky they would be, if only they were like you. With your same problems to deal with.

I give you full credit for attempting the business venture. You deserve a pat on the back. Nothing I hate like armchair quaterbacks who have no idea what it is like to toss the ball and get sacked by a really big dude.

If only I know then what I know now, sure I would have done plenty different. I lost a fairly large fortune attempting "the grand plan".

Its been a few years since the wheels came off and there are still nagging details to be delt with. But I generally don't go hungry. I have an FFR that survived the carnage and despite not having the funds to finish it, I consider myself a lucky man. In the end I have whats really important. The bank could not reposess my family and friends, and I survived with a full quota of integrity and moral fiber.

So, fill the galss and take a closer look. Its really half full.
 

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Junior Charter Member
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582 Posts
Bill,

I'm in the same boat. I was let go from my job on Nov. 29th. I haven't posted about it because I don't want to whine about it. I see it as an oppurtunity more than anything.

The biggest thing for me was to keep busy and feel useful.

That being said, I think you should help out a cobra buddy who needs access to a vehicle large enough to pick up his cobra top from the upholsterer. The cold is not really the deterrent for me driving the cobra there, it's the darn xmas shopping traffic at the mall.

In return for helping said buddy, you could have lunch at your choice of venues - Hooters, Satin Dolls(the Bada bing club) or the new Sportsexy cafe on rt. 46.

Time permitting we could even zip down and keep AJ busy!

Seriously though, I know things will pick up for you in the new year. If you need anything, let me know.

The only people who are really failures are those who never try (or something like that).

Matt
 

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FFCobra Captain
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11,688 Posts
Hardworking poeple aren't failures...they just aren't succesful with every single business project. I had my best year (income wise) in 2002). Made less on 03 and even less in 04. I work just as hard and think I'm better at what I do than I was on 2002...it's just that the market for what I sell has changed. I'm focusing on learning some new products that I can offer in 2005 and try to get back to the right trend. We all go through tough times...it's how we deal with them that makes us successful.

Maybe you need to take your family out of town for a couple days...go visit some family you like (that part's important) somewhere. Take yourself out of the current environment for a few days and get recharged. Then come back and put a plan together to get back on your feet and focus.

Holidays really aren't a time where people are looking to make decisions, so accept that part and make 2005 a great year for you.

Best of luck to you.
 
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