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Just Glad to be here - back to working on the car
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A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has
been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron,
12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes 1 reaction to take over 4
days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal 1/2-life of 4 years; it does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause
more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity
in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium -
an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many
peons but twice as many morons.
 

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Craig, Thank you for informing me of this new element. I have been using Unabtainium and Cantafordium for a long time and am in dire need of new resources. Upon doing some simple research, I have found Governmentium available in every state. The mass density ratio is proportional to the proximity of governmental asset control centers. All of the reactions stated above seem to hold true with one exception. I did a quick test of the reaction of Stupidium with Governmentium. In that case the reactions are accelerated with a sudden increase of the Moron subparticals. I am VERY fearfull of an uncontrolled chain reaction that would flood the universe with these elements. My best advise at this point would be to keep the elements as far apart form each other as possible Let us pray that the creator knows what he is doing and has long term plan for the storage of this inseduious material.

D Z
 

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My extensive research into the releationship between genius and insanity has just been advanced by two more subjects. I now have proof of the correlation in a huge random sample of three subjects. (I reviewed myself first and found that I had only half of the relationship. Go figure.)
 
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