Stepdaughter nightmare - now what? - Page 3 - FFCars.com : Factory Five Racing Discussion Forum

 10Thanks
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #61 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 05:24 PM
Shade Tree Mechanic
 
Scalded Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Blairsville, GA
Posts: 11,125
She's not too old for boot camp. USMC!!!!

MKIII, 302 FMS Crate, GT40 Heads, Quick Fuel carb, TK0500 Mid-shift, 3-Link, 300 RWHP & Trq. Finally done after two years. I think I will call her Black Betty

"It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence.”
Scalded Dog is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #62 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 05:26 PM
Senior Member
 
Derald Rice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Fort Collins, Colorado
Posts: 1,907
I have been in your shoes with our grand daughter. The strings have been cut for about 2 years now, and hopefully she can eventually pull out of her nosedive. Her parents are of no help to her.

I won't repeat any of the cliche's, but it is not your fault. Keep your head up and stay the course.

Go drive the cobra. That is what helped me through some of the really rough days.
Derald Rice is offline  
post #63 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 06:49 PM
Senior Charter Member
FFCars Captain
 
USMC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: bridgewater, NJ
Posts: 5,727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scalded Dog View Post
She's not too old for boot camp. USMC!!!!
One of the best life decisions I ever made. I enjoyed it. Plus 3 hots and a cot.
USMC is offline  
post #64 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 07:43 PM
Unconventional Builder
 
JoeE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Hatboro SE Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,142
Garage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Derald Rice View Post

Go drive the cobra. That is what helped me through some of the really rough days.
Thats what I do as well.......

Donor $2,500 -Kit $18,000 -Extra "needs stuff" $100's -$1,000's
300+hp tagged race car PRICELESS !! Best ET 12.27 @ 113.49 mph N/A
Mk III #5294 -302 AFR 185 Heads, Levy Front and Rear control arms, 3-link, 3.55, 11" GT front and 11" Cobra rear brakes, SAI, UTC exhaust No More EFI: Now Quick Fuel 650

“It is not the giver of life that destroys human life. It is the receivers of life who do not live in the rational, honest way called for by the creator's behavioral law. Instead they live as they please and finally are forced to depart this life.” Richard W. Wetherill

YouTube Videos: AutoX
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Go Kart
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

My Pics:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
JoeE is online now  
post #65 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:32 PM
Senior Member
 
expat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 2,954
We are so blessed...& I feel for you...
We have many friends who have been devastated by a least one wayward child, be it Drugs, teenage pregnancies, AWOL etc etc.
This morning my youngest came out of surgery & in the recovery room still dazed I was the first person she asked for.
Kinda pissed off the wife & b/friend because I'm the proverbial hard ass.

Good luck our thoughts are with you
expat is offline  
post #66 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 01:34 AM
Superannuated Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Darkest Virginia
Posts: 682
Just an observation. One of the few things I've learned in seventy-odd years on this planet is that you can't save people from themselves.

GK
Genghis is offline  
post #67 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 10:25 AM
Senior Member
 
Hoosier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Lawrenceburg, Indiana
Posts: 10,337
I suppose some people never learn. My brother "gets out" in a couple months. I'll put the over/under on return to the clink @ 9 months. He will be 50 this year.

-Andrew-

- If the answer to the question is "the government" it was a stupid question to begin with.
Hoosier is offline  
post #68 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 11:23 AM
Senior Member
 
DealsGapCobra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 2,701
Skunkman,

I feel for you, I also have three stepdaughters and the oldest is on the wrong path. I won't go into details but in the summer we let her move into one of our rentals on the condition her boyfriend does not live with her. Three months later we had to ask her to leave when they wanted to borrow my truck to move in his stuff! What in the world do these kids think? Anyway, I will share with my wife our blessings as she at least has enough respect for us to move out leaving the house in good shape!

I don't think there is any question that it is time for you and your wife to make sure your stepdaughter has some real problems. It will be hard to watch but it will be showing her love! Hang in there, support each other and be tough.


Sent from AutoGuide.com Free App

Rob

12/7/1941
9/11/2001
3/21/2010
DealsGapCobra is offline  
post #69 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 06:53 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Frisco, TX
Posts: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by USMC View Post
One of the best life decisions I ever made. I enjoyed it. Plus 3 hots and a cot.
USMC,

I bet it was great for you but as you said, it was the best life decision YOU ever made. If that decision is made for her then she is going to hate it and quit when it starts getting hard. Right now the military branches are not strapped for recruits so they can afford to be picky. They don't want people that don't want to be there or that they feel will not make it. It's not that hard to get out of basic training now. Get washed back a couple times and it's not much longer until they just ship you home.

I joined the Air Force when I was older, went in when I was 23 and it was OK, but I would have been off if I had kept working and not joined the military. Since then I have told my sons that neither of them are right for the military. Thank God they are not causing us problems and have grown up past that point where Mom and Dad are idiots. But the military is not what it used to be back when.


Skunkman,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. It's hard when you have a child that you feel you need to help but refuses to use that help to make things better. Just remember that you, and your wife, are not responsible for the decisions that your daughter is making in her life. Sometimes our kids, or family, make choices that require them to to pay the consequences no matter how much we try and help them.

Have a nephew on the wife's side that was always going to family to get bailed out of trouble. The last time he went to his grandparents to ask for money they told him no. He got upset. Said that it was not right, that the state just "Gave them money, and he had to work for it!" Of course, he was talking about their social security check... He had no idea that they had worked for that money for all their lives and it was not just being given to them. I helped him get a good job that would have gown into a great job (machinist) and he threw it away. Borrowed his moms car without asking one time and three days later he called her to say that it had broke down on the highway so they just left it. He was "allowed" to live with his brother and his family for a while and ripped them off by pawning off their property.

Thirteen or fourteen years ago when he was around 28 years old he got put in jail and will not be eligible for parole until he is 66 years old. Not sure he will get out then as one of the requirements for parole is to get a job. What kind of job can a 66 year old man get when he has spent more time in jail than in the real world? In 2041 if there is a social security I don't think he ever worked enough to get a check from them after release. His mother who tried to help him at the expense of everyone else will be 92 year old when the time comes and there will be no one to support him.

Even though we tried to help him get his life right there is nothing that we could do for him besides being down on our knees praying for him. It really seemed that when we were trying to help him is when it got worse for everyone else. We could not see that until he was in jail. After that we had to figure out that no matter what we did, it was not our choices that got him where he was.


So I say all of this to again remind you that neither you or your wife are responsible for her decisions or her current path in life. Don't think that it is your wife's fault because it sounds like that is NOT the way she raised her. I did not hear if you think there are drugs involved in her life but it sounds like there might be. Maybe she needs a visit to a rehab unit that could manage her time and educate her a little on the choices she is making. She is currently only thinking about herself and all of her choices are extremely selfish. You have done more than enough and owe her nothing more.


What can you do???? Well, get on your knees and pray for her and then get your things out of the rental house before they are sold out from under you, have the locks changed on your current house, and do not buy her another car. If the rental home was empty because you could not find a renter then it will be your choice as to if you let her stay there. Just don't expect it to be in prime condition when she does move out. But I do think that it would be better for her to be in the rental home than moving into your home.


Tim
TDSapp is online now  
post #70 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 09:29 PM
Senior Member
 
2boss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: SLC
Posts: 145
I agree with the others that state the military is no longer a place for problematic people. They'll just get themselves into more trouble and possibly booted out with an unfavorable discharge of some kind, which will only worsen their chances of finding a job.

MK4 #7204 - 306 EFI, T5Z mid-shift, IRS 3:31, 17" wheels, manual steering & brakes and heated seats
2boss is offline  
post #71 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
FFCars Captain
 
skunkman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Heathrow, florida
Posts: 3,299
Worse than I thought

Last week we went to the house to see if she moved out - of course she didn't. She was there and she would not speak to either of us - told us her therapist told her not to. That is BS. I told her she needed to get out by the next day. The house is now listed with an agent. I turned the power and the water off and went back again yesterday. The house was a disaster. The kitchen was full of dirty dishes, trash and rotting food everywhere. Laundry in the washer and dryer. Dirty clothes piled higher than the washer on the floor. House smelled disgusting - downstairs toilet fill with crap and piss. Upstairs master bedroom a disaster. Bathroom mirror taken off the wall. Clothing, junk and trash covering the entire floor and bathroom. I was furious. I used her comforter as a sling and transferred all of her stuff to an empty room downstairs. So much stuff it took me at least 10 trips. I will pay someone to move it into storage and give her a key. Her mother is sick over this. She feels guilty even though she knows she shouldn't. No one in their right mind would choose to live like this. She will not respond to my text messages. I feel like I have no other choice - I can't let her continue to trash a $350k house that we want to sell.







If you don't think it's real, go ahead and step in front of it!

mark III, 302 crate, 670 Holley carb, 3 link, non-donor.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Last edited by skunkman; 02-13-2017 at 03:38 PM.
skunkman is online now  
post #72 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 01:53 PM
Charter Member
FFCars Captain
 
FFR5452's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Carlsbad, Calif.
Posts: 4,666
Throw her stuff in a dumpster. Change the locks. Have the house cleaned and painted and sell it.
Don't let the kid near you or your wife until she grows up. Not your fault. Some kids just never get a clue.

Jim

SPF 2932, Indigo Blue with Viper Steel Gray Stripes, Lykin's Motorsports 438 Motor, 535hp, 560 torque, Gordon's Super Alloy T-5 tranny. Big A-- tires! Delivered 7/1/09, Scared s--tless 7/2/09.
FFR5452, 2007 grad #1. MkIII, Non donor, 302/400hp, BG Speed Demon, 3 link, Tremec World Class, 3.73 gears, Gordon's Koni's, springs and rear control arms, 17 inchers. SOLD 9/4/09

Legal Defense Fund contributor!
FFR5452 is offline  
post #73 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 03:36 PM
FFCobra Captain
 
Dan Babb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 11,321
Agreed. Throw her shit on the front lawn and give her the day to pick it up. Paying for a storage unit is too soft and not cutting the cord.


Sent from AutoGuide.com Free App

Dan


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

FFR5857
349cu.in with Mass-Flo EFI, Edelbrock Performer Alum. Heads and other go-fast goodies
PS/PB/AC
Dan Babb is offline  
post #74 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 03:48 PM
Senior Member
 
Big-Foot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: GoldCanyon AZ / Kenyon MN
Posts: 17,878
Wow... whatta mess....

Mini-storage for 1 month sounds good to me...
If she breaks back into the house, have the police deal with her..
Time for tougher love I'm afraid... See if she can dance her way to a better life on someone elses wallet...

Regards - Randy
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Racecar & HotRod Fab/Support
1933 Ford Tudor StreetRod
2017 Ford Raptor / 2015 Jeep Rubicon Unlimited
Big-Foot is offline  
post #75 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 04:13 PM
Senior Charter Member
FFCars Craftsman
 
TBullard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Augusta, Ga
Posts: 681
What is the pole in the middle of the room?

FFR 5870, Coupe226, Coupe 031, FFR 5021, FFR 4430


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TBullard is offline  
post #76 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 04:17 PM
www.myraceshop.com
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,824
So sorry for you and your wife. And for your step daughter. She is not making life easy for any of you.

Good luck.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


GTM/Corvette/Racing Parts

Solution "kits" for some common GTM issues.

"How To" videos, including bodywork, frame, suspension, vehicle layout-all coming soon.

"Choose Freedom Over Freebies"
crash is online now  
post #77 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 04:45 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
FFCars Captain
 
skunkman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Heathrow, florida
Posts: 3,299
Quote:
Originally Posted by TBullard View Post
What is the pole in the middle of the room?

It is a strippers pole - goes nicely with the decor.

In her defense (rare for me) she was taking those pole dancing for exercise classes. It wouldn't shock me if she has moved on to real pole dancing.YUCK

If you don't think it's real, go ahead and step in front of it!

mark III, 302 crate, 670 Holley carb, 3 link, non-donor.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
skunkman is online now  
post #78 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 07:01 PM
Shade Tree Mechanic
 
Scalded Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Blairsville, GA
Posts: 11,125
I would donate all her stuff to Good Will or another charity. Then let her know it's going to people who appreciate it because they have nothing

MKIII, 302 FMS Crate, GT40 Heads, Quick Fuel carb, TK0500 Mid-shift, 3-Link, 300 RWHP & Trq. Finally done after two years. I think I will call her Black Betty

"It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence.”
Scalded Dog is online now  
post #79 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 07:12 PM
Not a waxer
 
JKleiner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Bloomington, Indiana
Posts: 10,461
Lock the place up and if she breaks back in have her arrested. Everything up to this point has just been further enabling her because she has seen that there are no real hard line consequences. Sorry to be blunt and sorry that you are having to go through this; it truly must be a nightmare. I wish you the best.

Jeff

Mk3 #5946 build pics w/text

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Mk4 #7276 "indy14" Build thread

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Mk4 Bodywork thread

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
JKleiner is online now  
post #80 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 07:22 PM
*** CAD Librarian ***
FFCars Lieutenant Colonel
 
NiceGuyEddie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: from NYC to Chino, SoCal
Posts: 11,415
This is one of the reasons I have strayed away from having kids or even dating someone with kids.

I am overall a well-read person, street-smart, and often somebody that people go to for advice, but I would have NO parenting skills.

When it comes to bad life events, I can deal with them much easier if I can understand them, but in this case, I just don't see how it can be.

Sorry I can't give advice, but I hope this pans out.


_
_


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Early MK3 complete not without the loving help of Paul Mastroianni a.k.a. Cannonball Cobra...5-15-10 ..R.I.P....†††

.
NiceGuyEddie is offline  
post #81 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 07:27 PM
Charter Member
FFCars Captain
 
FFR5452's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Carlsbad, Calif.
Posts: 4,666
Quote:
Originally Posted by TBullard View Post
What is the pole in the middle of the room?
Stripper pole.

Jim

SPF 2932, Indigo Blue with Viper Steel Gray Stripes, Lykin's Motorsports 438 Motor, 535hp, 560 torque, Gordon's Super Alloy T-5 tranny. Big A-- tires! Delivered 7/1/09, Scared s--tless 7/2/09.
FFR5452, 2007 grad #1. MkIII, Non donor, 302/400hp, BG Speed Demon, 3 link, Tremec World Class, 3.73 gears, Gordon's Koni's, springs and rear control arms, 17 inchers. SOLD 9/4/09

Legal Defense Fund contributor!
FFR5452 is offline  
post #82 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:01 PM
OT Moderator
FFCars Lieutenant Colonel
 
ROB J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 13,582
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Babb View Post
Agreed. Throw her shit on the front lawn and give her the day to pick it up. Paying for a storage unit is too soft and not cutting the cord.


Sent from AutoGuide.com Free App
What Dan said, x2. Get a court order to keep her out. Dude, you are really going to pay for a storage facility after all you've been through??? Maybe I'm overstepping, but that is crazy. Don't be an enabler.

Is that a stripper pole I see?

Best of luck to you man. My kids are still 10 and 11, so I haven't had to deal with stuff this crazy so far....

FFR1004659RD OFFICIAL GRADUATION
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

SOLD: 10/4/10

1987 Buick Grand National (All original with only 16k miles)
1965 Buick Riviera Gran Sport (Currently undergoing a frame off restoration)
1965 Buick Riviera 401 car, unrestored survivor, driver.
2005 F150 FX4, Supercrew (Daily Driver)
2001 Dodge Grand Caravan (Beater)
ROB J is offline  
post #83 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:26 PM
Senior Member
 
dallas_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3,986
Garage
I'll say this again, looks like possible mental illness. Sounds like she is in therapy which is a positive.
Mental illness is tricky because it can look a lot like irresponsibility. The therapist has to abide by ethics rules, but he/she may be able to share some ideas on what your daughter is dealing with if your she is willing to open that door to you. It could have an impact on how you deal with her.

Or she is just irresponsible so it's ok to 'throw her and her stuff out'.

Good luck. It's a hard road to travel.

FFR #7124 Mk 3.1, Levy 5 link, LCA's & brakes, 17" Halibrands, electric PS, SAI, Eibach springs, BOSS 427w, webers, hood louvers, tilt front. Delivered 12/23/09, 1st start 02/19/12. 1st go cart 03/03/12. Titled 10/3/12.

"I'm basing it on a collective interpretation of these particular cars. And whatever the hell I like". The Federalist Patriot


SL-C in progress....
dallas_ is offline  
post #84 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:10 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
FFCars Captain
 
skunkman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Heathrow, florida
Posts: 3,299
Quote:
Originally Posted by dallas_ View Post
I'll say this again, looks like possible mental illness. Sounds like she is in therapy which is a positive.
Mental illness is tricky because it can look a lot like irresponsibility. The therapist has to abide by ethics rules, but he/she may be able to share some ideas on what your daughter is dealing with if your she is willing to open that door to you. It could have an impact on how you deal with her.

Or she is just irresponsible so it's ok to 'throw her and her stuff out'.

Good luck. It's a hard road to travel.
Her behavior certainly is related to drugs or mental health issues or both. No one in a normal state of mind would choose to live and act like this. The pictures don't relay the stench permeating throughout the place. The problem is she feels like she is a victim and will not take ownership of her actions and decisions. If she has mental health issues she does not recognize them which presents a big problem - feeling the whole world is wrong and out to get you can drive you to do crazy things. I referred her to a psychiatrist friend of mine but that went nowhere unfortunately.

If you don't think it's real, go ahead and step in front of it!

mark III, 302 crate, 670 Holley carb, 3 link, non-donor.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
skunkman is online now  
post #85 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:18 PM
OT Moderator
FFCars Lieutenant Colonel
 
ROB J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 13,582
You aren't going to want to hear this Keith, but IMO, you guys have no other choice but to totally cut her off completely! 100%. That includes anything financial, communication, and contact. 100%. She needs time be to out there by her self with no help, and contact with you and your wife. In a sense disowned. As stated earlier, she's her worst enemy.

It may take some years for her to come around, or maybe never.

I know it will kill both you and your wife, (her paternal mother), to the core, but in my honest opinion as someone that had to deal with a POS cousin (that's a long story for another day), it's the only solution.

FFR1004659RD OFFICIAL GRADUATION
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

SOLD: 10/4/10

1987 Buick Grand National (All original with only 16k miles)
1965 Buick Riviera Gran Sport (Currently undergoing a frame off restoration)
1965 Buick Riviera 401 car, unrestored survivor, driver.
2005 F150 FX4, Supercrew (Daily Driver)
2001 Dodge Grand Caravan (Beater)
ROB J is offline  
post #86 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:54 PM
Unconventional Builder
 
JoeE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Hatboro SE Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,142
Garage
Quote:
Originally Posted by ROB J View Post
You aren't going to want to hear this Keith, but IMO, you guys have no other choice but to totally cut her off completely! 100%. That includes anything financial, communication, and contact. 100%. She needs time be to out there by her self with no help, and contact with you and your wife. In a sense disowned. As stated earlier, she's her worst enemy.

It may take some years for her to come around, or maybe never.

I know it will kill both you and your wife, (her paternal mother), to the core, but in my honest opinion as someone that had to deal with a POS cousin (that's a long story for another day), it's the only solution.
Yup only answer given the above. Spend time and energy helping your wife deal with this. Hell if the place is in Fl she will be ok, its not like you are putting her out in upstate NY with a foot or two of snow on ground.

Donor $2,500 -Kit $18,000 -Extra "needs stuff" $100's -$1,000's
300+hp tagged race car PRICELESS !! Best ET 12.27 @ 113.49 mph N/A
Mk III #5294 -302 AFR 185 Heads, Levy Front and Rear control arms, 3-link, 3.55, 11" GT front and 11" Cobra rear brakes, SAI, UTC exhaust No More EFI: Now Quick Fuel 650

“It is not the giver of life that destroys human life. It is the receivers of life who do not live in the rational, honest way called for by the creator's behavioral law. Instead they live as they please and finally are forced to depart this life.” Richard W. Wetherill

YouTube Videos: AutoX
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Go Kart
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

My Pics:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
JoeE is online now  
post #87 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-19-2017, 01:32 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Oxford MI
Posts: 37
I thought my 6 yr olds room was a mess!
brent25 is offline  
post #88 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 05:09 AM
Too much is just enough.
FFCars Captain
 
Motorhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Albuquerque and Socorro
Posts: 5,872
I can't speak from personal experience, I'm single and have no children. Not the right time in my life to settle down. With that said, I've had some close families that had problematic children and I deal with problematic children all the time, every day. I teach special ed math at a high school, and last year I taught the emotional disturbance class setting.

My advice, all 2 cents worth, cut her off. And I mean, cut her the $&#@ off. Every single time she wrecked a car, what ended up happening? You either provided her with a car, or she borrowed one of the cars you provided. You constantly give her more time to move out. She doesn't see a backbone! She sees "oh, they'll always help me when I really need it." This doesn't send her the message that she needs to change. Oh and the stripper pole with a chair in front of it, I hate to say it but chances are some ill-gotten gains were earned there. A girl has to eat, and without a stable job, she's gonna have to get creative. She doesn't appear to even respect herself, so don't expect her to respect you and your wife.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off like an azzhat. But if you want to help her, send her to a rehab clinic where she is more or less a prisoner. If you don't want to foot that bill, then I'd say you're only option is to seriously cut her off and tell her that if she breaks into any of your properties or takes any of your family's vehicles, she will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. You need to either send her to rehab for mental health counseling, or disown her. Otherwise, she's going to continue to wreck your life and drive a wedge between you and your wife. It's her daughter, not yours and that has to be causing some grief between you two. You and your wife might want to consider some counseling, especially if you decide as a team to disown her.

I feel for you, this has to feel like you're living through a nightmare that just won't end. Reading your trials and tribulations however, you need to end this one way or another before this girl causes a serious problem financially for you. I wouldn't overestimate this girl's stupidity, she might leave something burning, forget it and then call you that the house is on fire, what should she do? Rehab or a jail cell, one or the other is needed.

-Joe
"Autoholism: An incurable addiction medicated daily with car porn."

"It's loud, smells like gasoline, and shakes, shudders, and bucks. It makes your arms tired and your feet hot. You nearly crash about once every ten minutes. It's so damn wonderful you can’t believe it." -Automobile Mag. Oct. '04

"AC Cobra - America's sensational GT car." - Road & Track Road Test Annual '64

Last edited by Motorhead; 02-25-2017 at 05:22 AM.
Motorhead is offline  
post #89 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 05:05 PM
OT Moderator
FFCars Lieutenant Colonel
 
ROB J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 13,582
This is one of those rare occasions where I am forced to agree with Joe 100 percent.

And, it's pretty much what I had stated earlier.

Best of luck Keith, we are pulling for you bud!

FFR1004659RD OFFICIAL GRADUATION
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

SOLD: 10/4/10

1987 Buick Grand National (All original with only 16k miles)
1965 Buick Riviera Gran Sport (Currently undergoing a frame off restoration)
1965 Buick Riviera 401 car, unrestored survivor, driver.
2005 F150 FX4, Supercrew (Daily Driver)
2001 Dodge Grand Caravan (Beater)
ROB J is offline  
post #90 of 134 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 08:42 PM
Charter Member
FFCars Craftsman
 
BobNealy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 989
depending on how she was living there and how long, lease or no lease you cannot throw here stuff out matter how much you want to she can sue you for their value. You might of already broke the the law if you did not give proper notice for her to leave lease or not. If you had a lease or not you have laws you have to follow or she can move back in and you will lose in court. I have bought houses that the landlord was trying to evict a person for a year before I came along. Trust me I do this for a living follow the law or it will only become the biggest headache of your life. All she has to do is go to a halfway house and tell them you just kicked her out and she will get a free lawyer to sue you.

If you have to help them move in, you will have to help them move out.
BobNealy is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the FFCars.com : Factory Five Racing Discussion Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome

 

Welcome to FFCars! The representations expressed are the representations and opinions of the FFCars.com forum members and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and viewpoints of the site owners, moderators, Factory Five Racing, Inc. or Ford Motor Company. This website has been planned and developed by FFCars.com and its forum members and should not be construed as being endorsed by Factory Five Racing, Inc. or Ford Motor Company for any purpose. "FFR", "Factory Five", "Factory Five Racing", and the Factory Five Racing logo are registered trademarks of Factory Five Racing, Inc. FFCars.com forum members agree not to post any copyrighted material unless the copyrighted material is owned by you. Although we do not and cannot review the messages posted and are not responsible for the content of any of these messages, we reserve the right to delete any message for any reason whatsoever. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages, and you agree to indemnify and hold us harmless with respect to any claim based upon transmission of your message(s). Thank you for visiting the FFCars.com Forum dedicated to Factory Five.